


I'm a Fool (For You)

by targaryen_melodrama



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Established Relationship, Multi, POV Sam Wilson, Peggy Carter is so done, Rhodey was done 30 seconds after meeting Tony, Sam Wilson is So Done, This is barely an AU but I needed it so that Peggy could be alive-RIP, for all of them that is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-23
Updated: 2018-08-23
Packaged: 2019-07-01 08:22:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15770268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/targaryen_melodrama/pseuds/targaryen_melodrama
Summary: In hindsight, Sam should've known something would come up. He'd known Steve and Bucky too long to expect anything different.“James Barnes, IknowSteve did not just say that you burned the document thatproveswe’remarried.”





	I'm a Fool (For You)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you soooo much to the Queen of Nova Scotia for beta'ing this, I really appreciate it <3

Sam is nursing his third drink and is pleasantly buzzed, exactly the way he likes to be before they head to the tower for game night. He'd lost track of whatever conversation Bucky, Steve and Peggy were having, happy to be enjoying good food and good company in this nice, trendy Midtown bar. (And, as always, enjoying Bucky’s tipsy, teasing grins.)

In hindsight, Sam should've known something would come up. He'd known Steve and Bucky too long to expect anything different.

“...ridiculously expensive! Anyways, all I have to do is bring them our marriage license—which I've had trouble finding for some reason.”

It's a pretty mild statement from Peggy, but Steve turns red immediately. Sam's too tipsy to find it anything but funny.

“You've been married what—8 years, Rogers? Still shy about it?”

But Steve's eyes are fixed on Bucky, who has a fantastic poker face, but is holding himself way too still for Sam not to be suspicious. He opens his mouth to ask about whatever ridiculous inside joke  _this_ is about when Bucky rolls his eyes and sighs. “Steven Rogers, I swear to God.”

Steve stiffens immediately. “I have no clue what you're talking about.”

“Fuck you  _and_ your terrible poker face. Give it up!”

Steve isn't done with his thoroughly unconvincing innocent act. “Give what up?”

“Steve?” Peggy asks in a  _way_ too calm tone.

“Bucky burned his and Sam’s marriage license!”

Sam, who was still amused at that point, goes cold. “You did _what_?” he asks, just as Bucky says, “Steve, you son of a—”

“James Barnes, I  _know_ Steve did not just say that you burned the document that _proves_ we’re _married_.”

“I—it’s a—I’m sorry!”

“You know that's not the procedure to get a divorce, right?” Sam asks, more confused than upset.

“ _Sam._ No. It's—it's the opposite.”

If Sam’s hair was long enough, he'd be tearing it out right now. “Okay—Bucky— _what_?”

“Ididn'twantyoutoleavemesoIdestroyedthereceipt.”

“I will actually divorce you right this second if you don't start making sense.”

Bucky has the decency to look at least a little bit ashamed. “Last year when you were in D.C. for Christmas, I was sad and drunk on Thor’s eggnog and I just didn't want you to leave me,” Bucky explains, like that makes an ounce of sense. “I thought—I thought, well, you can't take it back if you don't have the receipt.”

“The _receipt_? I'm—?” Sam is feeling so many things at the moment, but mostly, he's shocked. “I’m—I don’t—I...I married an idiot,” he finally says. Sam pushes his whiskey glass away and starts lightly banging his head on the table. Might as well be two idiots in this marriage, right?

“Yeah, but you can't take it back now.” Bucky has the gall to sound relieved.

“Barnes. I will throw this drink in your face, so help me God.”

“It's alright,” he says with too much confidence for the situation he's in right now. Sam looks up and sees Bucky looking at Steve’s terrified expression with an honest-to-God evil grin on his face. “Steve told me it doesn't cancel the marriage. He's an expert in burnt marriage licences.”

“Bucky,” Steve gasps.

“Don’t ‘Bucky’ me, pal. This is all your fault.”

“It's my fault your burned your marriage license?”

“You're right,  _that_ isn't your fault. It ain’t completely mine either. Someone told me that ‘it wasn’t _t_ _hat_ crazy, Buck.’ Do you remember who told me that?”

“I—”

“D’you remember who said ‘I just couldn't risk it, Buck, what if Peggy realizes how much better she could do?’”

Peggy who'd been too quiet this entire time, turns to Steve. “Oh, she’s realizing.”

“Peggy—fuck—I wasn't thinking! It was close to our anniversary and I couldn't think of what to get you and I thought you'd think I didn't love you. And then you'd hate me and leave me and—I'm sorry.”

Sam sighs and leans back in his seat. He pushes his whiskey further and further till it lands in front of Peggy, who now has her head in her hands.

“Sam,” she says, her voice muffled by her perfectly manicured hands, “Sam, tell me this is a dream—an absurd dream—and that I'll wake up soon.”

“Peg—”

“No. Absolutely not. Not a word from you, Steve.” Peggy removes her head from her hands, downs Sam’s whiskey and leaves their booth, the sound of her heels stalking away audible over the bar’s music. She only stops to extend a hand to Sam.

“Coming?”

Sam grabs Bucky’s beer, holds eye contact with his “husband” as he downs it, does the same with whatever fancy micro brewed bullshit Steve was drinking and grabs Peggy’s hand. There's only a second of total silence before Bucky and Steve start bickering.

“You grew all these muscles, but you couldn't grow a brain, huh?”

“Oh, fuck you Bucky. You couldn't wait to tell Peggy about this.”

“ ‘Cause you  _snitched_ on me!”

“After I introduced you to your husband too, you ungrateful bastard.”

“Don't bring Sam into this—oh shit, they're really leaving. Sweetheart, wait!”

***

“Where are your other halfs?” Rhodey asks as he drops Settlers, Monopoly and Resistance on the coffee table that's in the center of Tony's ridiculously large living room.

Sam is almost startled to hear Rhodey’s voice. He and Peggy had spent their Uber ride hand in hand, in stunned silence, until they took one look at each other and started laughing. (It sounded a  _tad_ hysterical, but that's between them and their Uber driver.)

“Don't know, don't care,” Sam answers, pulling a very Tony move and heading straight to the bar. “May I?” he asks, grabbing what looks like a very expensive bottle.

Rhodey’s eyebrows are up to his hairline. “Sure." He joins Peggy and Sam at the bar. "What’s up with you two? Is it that—” He’s interrupted by Knucklehead 1 and Knucklehead 2, who just got off the elevator.

“It's not  _that_ bad,” Steve says. “Nothing that threatens our marriage. Right?”

“Well I don’t know about that,” Peggy says, grabbing the drink Sam’s handing her, and passing one to Rhodey. “Tony ever burned his bloody marriage license?”

“I had Jarvis upload our license to the safest server he could,” Tony explains, strutting in with the rest of their board games—including, for some inexplicable reason, Twister.

“Well there—”

“So when I  _did_ destroy it—not by burning it, I'm not a fucking amateur—I had a backup copy.” Tony grins, walks to the bar to drop a kiss on Rhodey’s head, who looks fondly exasperated. Or exasperatedly fond. “Steve, Bucket, help me set up Monopoly.”

Bucky puts on a hand on Sam’s lower back as he passes by. “Sorry sweetheart,” he says with a grin Sam will never admit he finds attractive. “Couldn't risk it.” Sam tries his best to pretend he’s mad, but his traitorous lips are tilting up.

“You're on thin ice, Barnes.”

“Love you, too,” he says, kissing Sam’s temple and going over to where Steve and Tony are somehow already arguing.

“What does it say about us—”

“Nope,” Sam interrupts Rhodey. “Don't say it.”

Peggy sighs. “He's right, though. Who's the bigger idiot? The idiot who burns his marriage license, or the idiot who married the idiot who would burn his marriage license?”

“At least we’re in it together,” Rhodey offers. “I guess,” he adds after watching Bucky slap Steve upside the head with an instructions manual.

“I guess,” Sam sighs. He raises his glass. “To being married to idiots.”

“To being married to idiots.”

They each take a long sip before Rhodey says, “We tag team them.”

“Steve first,” Sam suggests. “He’ll sabotage Bucky out of spite after.”

“Tony'll be distracted, I can handle him from there,” Peggy says.

Rhodey nods. “I'll start a bet with Tony—we can share the winnings.”

This deserves an amendment to their toast, Sam thinks. He raises his glass again. “To taking advantage of being married to idiots.”

“To taking advantage of being married to idiots!”

 

 **End**.

**Author's Note:**

> Fools, each and every one of them. We love 'em though.
> 
> Inspired by [this post](https://lumenstars.tumblr.com/post/176429061254/from-a-post-on-twitter-uwu) (and shout out to the cat who started it all). 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this and comments make my day, so feel free to leave some below!
> 
> Lastly, I am on [Tumblr](http://targaryenmelodrama.tumblr.com) if you wanna drop by!


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